Go to media page

The Subtleties of Good Manners

Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani

24 January 2014 Fenton Zawiya, Michigan

A`oodhu billahi min ash-Shaytaani 'r-rajeem. Bismillahi 'r-Rahmaani 'r-Raheem.

Nawaytu 'l-arba`een, nawaytu 'l-`itikaaf, nawaytu 'l-khalwah, nawaytu 'l-`uzlah,

nawaytu 'r-riyaadah, nawaytu 's-sulook, lillahi ta`alaa fee haadha 'l-masjid,

fee haadha 'l-makaan, al-musalla.

أَطِيعُواْ اللّهَ وَأَطِيعُواْ الرَّسُولَ وَأُوْلِي الأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ

Atee`oollaha wa atee`oo 'r-Rasoola wa ooli 'l-amri minkum.

Obey Allah, obey the Prophet, and obey those in authority among you. (Surat an-Nisa, 4:59)

As we said previously, hilaq adh-dhikr, like this meeting, when they happen on Earth we sit for one hour or half hour and then we go, this is a Circle of Remembrance, hilaq adh-dhikr. When we go that tajalli is still there, it doesn’t go because:

عن أبي هريرة ، وأبي سعيد ( رضي الله عنهما ) ، قالا : قال رسول الله - صلى الله عليه وسلم - " لا يقعد قوم يذكرون الله إلا حفتهم الملائكة ، وغشيتهم الرحمة ، ونزلت عليهم السكينة ، وذكرهم الله فيمن عنده ( رواه مسلم )

Laa yaq`udu qawmun yadhkuroona Allah illa hafat-humu ’l-malaa’ikata wa ghashiyatahumu ’r-rahmata wa nazalat `alayhim as-sakeenata wa dhakarahumullah feeman `indah.

Never do a group of people sit remembering Allah, except angels will encompass them and they will be covered by mercy, tranquility will descend on them and Allah will remember them among those who are with Him. (Muslim)

When people sit together to make dhikr, the angels, hafat-hum, will encircle them, and they will reach up to the Heavens, as samaa ad-dunya, and Allah’s mercy covers that group. It is inappropriate to say, “When we finish these angels will go.” No, because it is Allah’s Greatness that He created that angel for that session, so they will stay and they will stay until Judgment Day, and they will remember Allah and their dhikr will be written for everyone! If you sit and remember Allah, make dhikr, another day in the same place, then on that day Allah will create new angels, not the same angels who were there before, who will come and encircle that gathering and encompass it, and the mercy of Allah will descend on them. That will be one over one over one, until the Day of Judgment. As long as people are doing dhikrullah, then as long as Allah is creating angels who are remembering Him, and that is written for us.

So awliyaullah or scholars, `ulama of Islam, sit in such ways and remember Allah (swt), everyone according to his capacity and capability. Awliyaullah are at the same time `ulama, and at the same time they are sincere and pious servants to Allah, whom Allah dressed with wilayah, sainthood. So their sessions are stronger in reward, stronger in `aqeeda, belief, because the shaykh is strong, and this session is under our shaykh, may Allah grant him long life, Mawlana Shaykh Nazim al-Haqqani ar-Rabbani an-Naqshbandi, Hizbullah al-Muslihoon! He inspired me...because they can relate to you, they can inspire everyone because their line is always open, they open it up and they reach anyone they want. Even Chinese can reach with telepathy; they talk to each other through the mind, from mind-to-mind, so then cannot awliyaullah do that? They throw into your heart directly what they want you to hear. May Allah (swt) grant him long life! He inspired two or three months ago:

طريقتنا الصحبة و الخير في الاصلاح

Tariqatuna as-suhbah wa ‘l-khayru fi ‘l- islaah.

Our way is fellowship, and the goodness is in reconciliation.

To be muslih, that is the job of the shaykh and it is what the shaykhs teach. They teach you to bring back the relationship between you and Prophet (s) in perfect condition. The tariqah is association and the best in repairing between people, to make people together and to bring back the connection to the Prophet (s). Islaah is to correct people’s belief to be in perfect relation with Sayyidina Muhammad (s) and also to build back your relationship with Allah (swt). That is the job of the shaykh and what else is there other than that? He presents you to the Prophet (s) after he advises you how to be in good behavior and characteristics, good manners, and so he is happy to present you.

Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) said, tariqatuna as-suhbah wal-khayru fi'l-jam`eeya, “Our way is fellowship and the goodness is in the gathering,” and that is in accord with the hadith:

وَيَدُ اللَّهِ مَعَ الْجَمَاعَةِ

Yadullahi ma` al-Jama`ah.

Allah's hand is with the gathering. (Tirmidhi)

“The Hand of Allah is over the group,” or “The Hand of Allah is with the group.” It is two narrations with one meaning. That means Allah’s Qudrah, Power and Allah's Mercy, Rahmat and Allah's `Adl, Justice is with the jama`ah supporting it and without the jama`ah there is no support except to yourself.

لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه

Laa yu’minu ahadakum hattaa yuhibbu li akheehi maa yuhibbu li nafsih.

As the Prophet (s) said: You are not able to perfect your faith until you want for your Muslim brother what you want for yourself. (Bukhari)

“No one is considered a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” If I love for myself to be good, then I love to be good for my brother and that is why you have to make islaah. You must not make enmity and hatred, jealousy and fighting by soow adh-dhan, bad doubts. So run away from bad doubts, as Allah (swt) said:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّن

Ya ayyuha alladheena amanoo ijtaniboo katheeran mina adh-dhaan.

O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible). (Surat al-Hujuraat, 49:12)

Tariqatuna as-suhbah wal-khayru fil-jam`eeya, our way is to bring people together and the good is in the gathering, yadullahi will come over the jama`ah. Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) is explaining the hadith we mentioned in a way we can understand. It might be people cannot understand the hadith, “Yadullahi ma` al-Jama`ah,” so he explained in a very simple sentence, “Tariqatuna as-suhbah wa ’l-khayru fi ’l-jam`eeya, “Our way is to be together and the best is in the association.” Allah’s Mercy will descend on every association that is halaqa of dhikr. `inda dhikrihi ’s-saaliheen tanzilu ’r-rahmah, so when pious people are mentioned, rahmatullah, Allah’s Mercy will come down. So when you say, “Yaa Sayyidee, yaa Rasoolullah,” rahmatullah, Mercy will come down as he is the Seal of Messengers. And when you say, “Yaa Sayyidee, yaa Mawlana Shaykh Nazim, my teacher,” rahmatullah will come because you remember a good person who has good manners and good character, a muslih, and he is the fixer who brings people together to glue them, to make them normal.

And everything has to have an adab, discipline and discipline is not so easy. We spoke yesterday about adab and awliyaullah and I mentioned a story that I would like to go back to. Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) had a student from the muqaddimeen, one of the highest, muqaddam, from the senior mureeds, always going with him, accompanying him, muraafiq. One day they were walking in the alleys of Bukhara where Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) lived.

As they are walking, another Shaykh came from another alley, his name was Muhammad al-Hallaj, not the Hallaj we know, but another one that was famous in his time. He had a mureed, and you could not count his mureeds as there were too many followers, but the problem was that he was munkar to Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q), he was opposing him and not accepting him because he was not understanding him. Like people today, when you speak with them on deep tasawwuf, they don’t understand s they want something simple to understand. So that Shaykh Muhammad al-Hallaj came and as they wanted to pass through the same alley they had to go in the same place, and Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) walked with him three steps, even though he (Muhammad al-Hallaj) opposed him, he did not turn his face from him, but gave him salaams and walked with him, here it says khutuwaat, might be three or twenty or fifty or one-hundred steps, but he accompanied him.

Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) accompanied him to show unity, to make sulh, islaah, islaahun bayn an-naas. Subhaanallah, that islaah, muslih, sulh, salaah, as mentioned in Holy Qur'an more than 100 times, that word and whatever comes from it mushtaaqaat al-kalimat, what is extracted from the same root, is mentioned in Holy Qur'an more than 100 times to stress it, as Holy Qur'an wants to tell you, “Make islaah, make sulh, be saalih; don't be taalih, don’t be bad, be good!” So to be good, he accompanied him for some time because he has muruwwah, piety and sincerity, so Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) went along with him for certain steps and then he went down the alley his way, and the other shaykh continued on his way.

One of the senior mureeds of Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q), Mawlana Sayfuddin was watching and it came in his mind that he has to give more respect to that person, Shaykh Muhammad al-Hallaj (q), thinking, “My shaykh gave him respect, but I think he needs more.” So he left his shaykh and left his company and went in company with that shaykh to show, “We are good, the group of Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) is good, and that I saw what Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) did was not enough and I walk with you more.” That happened because of his nafs, his desires. So you want to follow your desires or the shaykh’s desires? You cannot follow your desires, you have to follow the shaykh’s desires!

Say for example, Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) took this cup and put it here (on the edge of the table). You have no right as a mureed to take the cup and put it there. In your mind, “It is here, it is going to fall, so I have to put it nicely,” but in his mind it is going to fall and that is his business, not yours, and it is not adab to interfere in the shaykh’s business.

So Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) said, “I walked with Muhammad al-Hallaj this much according to what was written in the Preserved Tablets, why did you interfere? You walked more.” Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) was not happy with what Sayfuddin did, and he said to him when he came back, “What you did today was tark al-adab, you didn’t show any discipline and you came against my will, which is completely without excuse. You have already...because of what you did, balaa is coming on Bukhara.”

Allahu Akbar! It is not easy; when awliyaullah get upset you have to run away, so don’t sit with them too much. Those who sit with them too much think they become like their friends, their intimates. They don’t know the shaykhs have ahwaal, trances. Fa maata Mawlana Sayfuddin ba`d thalatata ayyaam, Mawlana Sayfuddin, the one who thought that he has to accompany Muhammad al-Hallaj for more steps, died after three days!

من عادا لي وليا فقد آذنته بالحرب

Man `adaa lee waliyyan faqad aadhantahu bi ’l-harb.

(Allah [swt] said) Whoever comes against My wali, I declare war on him.

(Hadith Qudsi; Bukhari, from Abu Hurayrah)

So in this position, it as if he had declared, “You don’t know, I know better, so I will walk with him some more steps, three steps.” So Allah hit him and he died! So we have to be very careful in the adab with the shuyookh.

It is said, very strongly, inna hifzh kalaam al-awliya... anyone who is sincere and pious and loves the shaykh has to know he must keep discipline with the shaykh and without any doubts, to follow completely their orders without question. Don’t say, “Sayyidee, can we do this?” No, you have no right! He said to you, “Do this,” then do this, don’t put your opinion! That is why it is the best, it is very important to keep this in mind, imtithaal al-amr, to put in practice the order, not to show you know better, not to correct. In your mind you are correcting the shaykh, but in reality you are destroying the relationship between you and the shaykh. For this reason it is mentioned, one of the senior mureeds of Shah Bahauddin Naqshband (q) said, “We have to keep three types of discipline with the shuyookh.” Inshaa-Allah we continue this tomorrow, which is Saturday, this is very important.

We mention one thing from this: if the shaykh asked you to do something and you did it very well and the shaykh was happy with you, you must not give your ego any space for pride. You must say, “I didn’t do it well, yaa Sayyidee, forgive me.” Don’t say that you did it well as that is where Shaytan is waiting to jump in. That is why sometimes the psychiatrists sometimes fail, because they try to do something for a patient and they succeed and they forget about Allah (swt), and they think they themselves did that, then next time Allah will hit them and they fail or don’t do well. So we have to be very careful. You must not see that, “I did well,” but rather, “I have to do better for my shaykh.” We leave the rest until tomorrow.

Wa min Allahi 't-tawfeeq, bi hurmati 'l-habeeb, bi hurmati 'l-Fatihah.

http://sufilive.com/The_Subtleties_of_Good_Manners-5418.html

© Copyright 2014 Sufilive. All rights reserved. This transcript is protected

by international copyright law. Please attribute Sufilive when sharing it. JazakAllahu khayr.

UA-984942-2